Do Women Really Help Each Other?

Recently, I had an encounter with UN Secretary Doreen, and during our conversation, she asked a question that caught everyone’s attention:
“Do women help each other?”

Without hesitation, the answer from the room was a firm “No.”

That one word kept ringing in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about it — why is this happening?

From my point of view, I’ve always believed that women in similar positions or with shared experiences do support one another. But when it comes to young women still trying to rise, the story changes. Many face silent barriers — competition, lack of mentorship, or even discouragement from those already ahead. It becomes harder to climb when the hands that should pull you up are instead watching from a distance.

Later, we had a follow-up discussion among the trainees, trying to unpack that answer. Everyone agreed again: women don’t really help each other.

But something shifted during a later session when one of the facilitators said something that made sense:

“If a woman gets into power with a vision to help others, she will naturally do so. But if she rises without that intention, she will feel threatened by others — seeing them as competition rather than allies.”

That statement changed my perspective. It’s not that women can’t help each other; it’s about the purpose behind their power.

When a woman leads with empathy, vision, and a desire to uplift others, she becomes a source of light for many. But when fear and insecurity take over, that light fades into comparison and competition.

So maybe the real question isn’t “Do women help each other?”
Maybe it’s,
“What kind of woman will you be when you have the power to help?”